WRITING CHALLENGE:The Ideal Job: Criminal or Law Enforcer?

catwomanThe British TV broadcaster, Channel 4, is looking for contestants for a new reality TV show about jobs. The first episode asks the question: Would you be a criminal or a law enforcer?

Well, this isn’t a difficult question for me, without a shadow of a doubt, I would be a criminal, specifically Catwoman, because who doesn’t want to look like Michelle Pfeiffer and say any of these lines:

  • ”I don’t know about you Miss Kitty, but I feel so much yummier!
  • The thought of busting Batman makes me feel, mmmmmm, dirty!”

So, which side of the law would you be on?

Would you choose to be a criminal or would you choose to be part of the judicial system; perhaps a lawyer, a judge, a police officer, a detective or a forensic scientist?

To apply, write a short article to Channel 4 explaining whether you would be a criminal or not.

WRITING CHALLENGE:CRIME PREVENTION

common crimesYou have just read an article in a local newspaper about the increase in crime in your local area. The police are asking for advice from local residents about the different ways to prevent crime.

Write a report to the police outlining details about the four most common crimes committed in your local area and provide suggestions on different ways to prevent them.

SPEAKING CHALLENGE: Do you know any Criminals or Victims of Criminal Activity?

police

  1. Is crime a problem where you live?
  2. Is juvenile crime on the increase in your country?
  3. Do you worry about Internet crime?
  4. Have you ever committed a petty crime?
  5. Have you ever been a victim of crime?
  6. Have you ever reported a crime?
  7. Have you ever witnessed a crime?
  8. How can crime be reduced?
  9. Do you think that prisons work?

LISTENING CHALLENGE: Breaking Bad: Chemistry Teacher Turns Drug Manufacturer

Breaking BadBreaking Bad is one of my all time favourite TV Crime Series. It was recommended to me by my Teckie Knight. And despite the fact that we are like chalk and cheese, he definitely knows my taste in TV. From the opening credits I was hooked on it!!!
The critics say:

  • ”Offbeat and brilliant
  • The best show on Television
  • One of the greatest dramas in TV history
  • Brutal and comedic at the same time”

I say, if you haven’t watched Breaking Bad yet, I’d suggest you take a week off work and learn some chemistry. I haven’t been this addicted to TV since the 1990’s when I was addicted to Twin Peaks.Why not watch the pilot episode?

Don’t fancy watching TV. Ok, how about listening to one of my favourite tracks from the show?  Click here for Negro Y Azul: The Ballad of Heisenberg (From “Breaking Bad” TV Series)” by Los Cuates de Sinaloa

LISTENING CHALLENGE: TV Crime and Criminals

Boston LegalThe truth is we are all nuts about crime and law enforcement. Furthermore, it is said that the average TV watcher spends more time viewing shows about the law and criminal activity than any other topic. Indeed, my favourite TV series of all time is Boston Legal; a hilarious, well-scripted, ethically dubious show about a law firm set in the Republican city of Boston in the USA. If you want to laugh your pants off, or laugh your head off, then start off by watching the official trailer:

With regards to films, yes, plots with hideous criminal behaviour are definitely my cup of tea.

I loved The Fight Club, Sev7n and The Silence of the Lambs. However, if I had to pick one of these films, I would choose Sev7n. No, not because Brad Pitt is the bomb ( hot) but because the storyline is brilliant and it’s one of the best endings of a film ever, ever written.
What!  You’ve never watched any of them! Get yourself in the mood by watching the trailers:

  1. S7even
  2. Fight Club
  3. The Silence of the Lambs

READING CHALLENGE: Janette on the criminal trail!

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance KidIn my opinion not taking time off work is a crime! Indeed, all work and no play make a person as dull as dishwater.
Luckily for me, I have friends who agree with this sentiment and so a number of years ago, two friends and I quit our jobs and bought one-way flights to Mexico.

We had a vague plan about what we wanted to do during our year off including: camping in the Mayan city of Palenque, scuba diving in Belize, trekking to Machu Picchu, flying over the Nasca lines, volunteering on a coffee plantation, speed cycling down the most dangerous road in the world and horseback riding in Bolivia looking for signs of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

As usual on a trip like this, plans change. One of my mates got a bun in the oven and flew home after 3 months, and the other developed a conscience and decided to support a local educational volunteer programme. I, on the other hand, had crime on my mind and so I rented a guide, a horse and some chaps and went in search of the famous bank robbers Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

And, despite the fact that I’m scared stiff of horses and that riding for 3 days across deserts and rocky outcrops with a mental guide whacking the ass of my horse to make it go faster made me start thinking about my will, the experience is definitely one of the most memorable things that I have done in my life.

If you don’t know anything about these two lovable criminals watch the trailer to the award-winning 1969 film, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, with the hot, hot, HOT actors, Paul Newman and Robert Redford . Seriously, if you have Newman and Redford in your life, you really shouldn’t complain about anything. Yes, they both certainly rock my world!

READING CHALLENGE: Janette’s Crimes

infamous criminalsThe range of crimes committed across the globe is almost incomprehensible. Some crimes are bizarre, some are horrific and unimaginable, and some are just ridiculous. If you are interested in reading more about the criminal mind and the darker side of life then check out this website which documents the stories of serial killers, murderers, rapists, cannibals, sadists and celebrity defendants.  A cannibal, OMG – eating human flesh. Now, if you want to do that, you’ve got serious, serious, SERIOUS ISSUES!

So, it’s time to confess, despite the fact that I AM a law-abiding citizen, I have been arrested twice. Can you guess which crimes I have committed?

  1. Doing a runner at a restaurant
  2. Defrauding the Japanese transport system
  3. Civil disobedience
  4. Violating army property
  5. Shoplifting

Thankfully, for both crimes I was let off with a verbal warning.

READING CHALLENGE: Crimes in Málaga: Property Development Crimes

Mayor accusedNow, I’m not sure about this case.  Am I correct in thinking that criminal property development is more heinous than violent crimes and sex offences?  So, a rapist could get a prison sentence of 6 months and someone who financially profits from an illegal transaction might get 15 years imprisonment.  If this is the case, then we have a judicial system which places the value of money and profiteering above the value of humans and human life.   Yes, I can hear you all groaning – that’s been obvious since time immemorial!