So, despite my inability and reluctance to turn on my cooker, I’ve decided to host a festive formal dinner party.
With this in mind, I need to be reminded about the right way of doing things; the things that I am not supposed to do, and the things that I should or ought to do.
I did check on the Internet but, holy smokes, people take this form of entertainment far too seriously! Seriously, it’s mental, there are even books written about it!
So, so far this is my list:
- You should check to see if any guests have a specific dietary requirement. SHOULD It’s a good thing to do.
- You ought not to invite a stripper for the evening’s entertainment. OUGHT NOT TO It’s not the right thing to do.
- You had better learn how to cook something because ordering a takeaway isn’t the right thing to do. HAD BETTER: It’s the best thing to do.
- You are not supposed to drink like a fish when you are the hostess. BE SUPPOSED TO. It’s not the right thing to do, but you probably will do it anyway.
So in a nutshell:
- Disinvite gluten-free people, lactose-free people, people allergic to nuts, meat eaters, fish eaters, teetotallers, people who blog about food.
- Cancel or postpone stripper.
- Throw away packaging so nobody knows I spent an arm and a leg at El Piano buying homemade vegetarian takeaway food.
- Pour vodka into water bottles.