It’s the last week in November and it’s time to start practising selective blindness, selective deafness coupled with a dramatic reduction in cognitive skills.
- Selective blindness: when shopping you must ignore all signs, products and slogans which suggest that Christmas is coming.
- Selective deafness: tune out all songs, sounds and melodies which suggest that Father Christmas is as busy as beaver.
- Reduction in cognitive skills: respond to all gift or present requests with the following words: ‘’I’m sorry, what you are saying is not computing with my brain cells; please come back in 24 days!’’
Admittedly, the aforementioned skills are difficult to perfect, but if you try to keep your alcohol levels topped up, it’s much easier to achieve!